BOOM

Cover! Cover! Cover! The city is under attack!

OK it isn't, but you wouldn't know that by the sound of it. I woke up this fine Old Year's Day (as it's called here) to the sound of explosions. Pop-pop-pop mixed with bang and whistle-BOOM. No I've never been in a war, but it sounds just like gunfire and bombs from movies! (OK Maybe they use fireworks for their sound effects.)

And fireworks it is. The town woke up this morning early and started blowing things up. Not cars- and house-type things, but paper and cardboard things. The explosions have not stopped all day, and there's so much explosive smoke that it's hanging over the town like a light fog, mixing with the mist that's present today. Once the sun goes down, it intensifies and as midnight approaches things will really get going.

The Dutch celebrate Old-New Year by setting off fireworks. As many as possible. Apparently, the booms and bangs frighten away evil spirits who, not being then in the right place at the right time, will miss the incoming of the New Year and be banned. Yayy. The explosives are legally sold for three days before the Year-Change Night and may legally be set off from 10am Old-Year's Day until 2am New Year's Day. (They've been going off for days and started around 8am this morning.)

In practice, it's noisy during the day but absolutely gorgeous at night. Growing up, my experience with fireworks came in two flavors: firecrackers and bottle rockets that people can play with sometimes, and real fireworks... the "go up and explode in a big starburst and change color and whistle" kind. In Netherlands, people get to play with the real ones! I've had the pleasure of seeing this before, but I forgot that it's an all-day event.

This time of year (even in a winter so mild that the geese haven't migrated) the ground is soaking wet. Roofs here are made of Spanish tile or thatch (thatch is also quite damp right now), so the risk of fire is minimal. There are some concerns about safety, but surprisingly few people manage to blow themselves up. Last year 710 people were injured using fireworks on New Year's; this is an estimate based on the fact that 84 people actually went to the hospital for firework-related injuries. A third of the treated injuries were to eyes. That makes sense--you're more likely to get treatment to a burn around/of the eye than a burned finger. Two people died (none in the previous two years, five in the three years before that).

Granted, that sounds like a lot in a country of fewer than 17 million people. But the Dutch spend around 65 million euros on fireworks. That's around 4 euros for every man, woman and child when a 96-shot extravaganza package can be purchased for 30 euros. It's 710 injuries for around 7 million people playing with explosives. Well done, Dutchy people!

For those following along with my personal adventures (there must be one of you), my BSN has not yet arrived. *sighs* I'm feeling very impatient, but pretty much everyone is off work from Christmas to New Year's so it's not too surprising, really.

Must Be Christmas

Christmas in Netherlands.

First and Second Christmas. Presents (much lower-key than Sinterklaas) on First Christmas Day, and a dinner with family. Second Christmas is a day for gathering with family and friends and "gourmetting." This is somewhat like a fondue party, with lots of small versions of people's favorite foods to mix and match and cook on specially constructed tiny skillets that fit on a bigger skillet. Fun. :)

And the Top 2000.

Top 2000 is a voter-selected list of the top 2000 songs of all time. The basic list consists of the previous list plus songs that have appeared somewhat frequently on the Radio 2 playlist during the year, minus songs that got very few votes the previous year. There's also a way for songs not on the list to be voted on by "free votes." The voting and compilation takes weeks and includes a process to try to weed out people who spam the votes. The #1 song in 2007 got over 10k votes, while #2000 received 150 votes.

The first Top 2000 (in 1999) captured over 6 million listeners. In 2009, the Top 2000 pulled over 10 million listeners. It's a country of fewer than 17 million people. 

Bohemian Rhapsody is the running favorite for the top spot, which has also been held once by Hotel California and once by Avond (by Boudewijn de Groot). Radio 2 currently begins the countdown at noon on First Christmas Day. This year the Top 2000 was kicked off by Andre Kuipers, the Dutch astronaut who just went to the International Space Station last week. The countdown runs continuously until midnight New Year's Eve and routinely draws the most listeners for all broadcasters in NL. In addition to tuning in on the radio, the list is played on the Internet and the DJ studio is livecast over the net throughout the countdown.

And the top 100 for 2011 (Find the whole list here.):
#1-Queen-Bohemian rhapsody
Eagles-Hotel California
Deep Purple-Child in time
Boudewijn de Groot-Avond
Led Zeppelin-Stairway to heaven
Adele-Someone Like You
Pink Floyd-Wish you were here
Coldplay-Clocks
Coldplay-Viva la vida
Bruce Springsteen-The river
Meat Loaf-Paradise by the dashboard light
Pink Floyd-Comfortably numb
U2-One
Metallica-Nothing else matters
Dire Straits-Brothers in arms
Pink Floyd-Shine on you crazy diamond
Guns n' Roses-November rain
Golden Earring-Radar love
Adele-Make you feel my love
Alan Parsons Project-Old and wise
Adele-Rolling In The Deep
Guus Meeuwis-Brabant
Doors-Riders on the storm
Beatles-Hey Jude
Animals-House of the rising sun
Adele-Set Fire To The Rain
Ramses Shaffy & Liesbeth List-Pastorale
John Lennon-Imagine
Billy Joel-Piano man
Dire Straits-Sultans of swing
Beach Boys-God only knows
Metallica-One
Simon & Garfunkel-Bridge over troubled water
AC/DC-Whole lotta Rosie
Bette Midler-The rose
Nirvana-Smells like teen spirit
Supertramp-School
Cuby & the Blizzards-Window of my eyes
Coldplay-The scientist
Pearl Jam-Black
Rolling Stones-Angie
Marco Borsato-Dochters
Johnny Cash-Hurt
Eric Clapton-Tears in heaven
Moody Blues-Nights in white satin
Rolling Stones-Sympathy for the devil
Dire Straits-Private investigations
Caro Emerald-A night like this
Snow Patrol-Chasing cars
Beatles-Yesterday
Stef Bos-Papa
Van Dik Hout-Stil in mij
Pink Floyd-Another brick in the wall
Red Hot Chili Peppers-Under the bridge
Robbie Williams-Angels
Beatles-Let it be
Wim Sonneveld-Het dorp
Simon & Garfunkel-The sound of silence
R.E.M.-Everybody hurts
Acda & De Munnik-Het regent zonnestralen
AC/DC-Thunderstruck
Billy Joel-Goodnight Saigon
Queen-Innuendo
Eagles-The last resort
Procol Harum-A whiter shade of pale
U2-Sunday bloody sunday
Guns n' Roses-Sweet child o' mine
R.E.M.-Losing my religion
Coldplay-Fix you
Bob Dylan-Hurricane
Fleetwood Mac-Go your own way
Amy Winehouse (& Mark Ronson)-Valerie
Jeff Buckley-Hallelujah
Coldplay-Paradise
Queen-Love of my life
Cure-A forest
Creedence Clearwater Revival-I put a spell on you
Beatles-A day in the life
Bob Marley & the Wailers-No woman no cry
Prince & the Revolution-Purple rain
Amazing Stroopwafels-Oude Maasweg
Rolling Stones-Paint it black
Klein Orkest-Over de muur
Otis Redding-The dock of the bay
Ramses Shaffy-Zing vecht huil bid lach werk en bewonder
U2-With or without you
Toto-Africa
ABBA-Dancing queen
Deep Purple-Smoke on the water
Beatles-Blackbird
10CC-Dreadlock holiday
Electric Light Orchestra-Mr. Blue sky
Ramses Shaffy-Laat me
Queen-Who wants to live forever
Pearl Jam-Alive
Michael Jackson-Billie Jean
Dire Straits-Telegraph road
Frans Halsema-Voor haar
Red Hot Chili Peppers-Californication
#100-Eagles-Desperado

Fail

I can't do it.

I know. You all had faith in me, that I would move here and become Dutch.

But I just can't.

I cannot eat a grilled cheese sandwich with no fat added.

*hangs head in shame*

So... OK so my dear American friends are wondering what I'm babbling about. The Dutch have this fantastic invention:

The also make grilled cheese (tosti) in a George Foreman grill thing.

Either way, we're talkin' very low fat. The tosti consists of two pieces of bread, a slice of cheese, a slice of ham. I kept checking the recipe for when you're supposed to smother all four available sides of the bread with dripping high-fat goodness, and it's just not in there! It's dry toast with hot cheese and ham gluing it together. The Dutch dip this in ketchup.

For my Dutch friends, so that you can understand my angst here, Americans make a grilled cheese sandwich, with or without ham, on one of these:

Butter all four sides of two slices of bread. OK you can use margarine if you have to. You can even use mayonnaise if you're a total health nut. Put both slices of bread in a hot skillet and lightly brown one side. Flip one slice over and stack it with cheese, ham, and/or whatever you like in your sammy. Flip the second slice over on top of the first. Let it toast there for a bit. That pan is going to smoke, so open the window, turn up the vent, remove the battery from your fire alarm, whatever. Flip the whole thing over and when the second side is golden brown, you have this:

American Grilled Cheese Sandwich: 637 calories. 50.2g fat. (with butter & 2 slices cheese)

Dutch Tosti: 277 calories. 9.6g fat. (with ham)

Yeah, it's good for you. Did I mention low fat? Healthy even. And it's one bridge too far.

And so I must confess to committing what in Netherlands is probably a crime: I spread margarine on top of my ham and cheese tosti. In my own defense, it was the bomb! It was like a grilled ham & cheese sandwich and breakfast toast all in one! 

Man, I hope the IND does not read this blog.

*Exhale*

My very special friend keeps reminding me that we're not done yet, but for some reason I think (after the visit to the IND) that today was the last hoop that I saw as a real obstacle.

In case you're not up to speed, today was the Inschriving (registration) by the gemeente (local government). In preparation for this, last week after the IND appointment, we called and made an appointment today for the inschriving. They sent over the form for me to fill in as preparation for the appointment.

[Cultural note: Mail in NL is super-speedy fast: typically, 1-day service from anywhere in the NL; often 1-day service from Germany, UK, Belgium & France (the neighbors). TNT provides mail service here. *whispers* US... call them. Set up an interview. Hire them. They kick butt.]

So we called Wednesday and I've had since Thursday to contemplate this form. They asked way more questions than the IND did. How long have I had my name and when did I acquire it? Where was I born? When? Who were my parents? What genders are my parents? [Yes. There was not a box for father and a box for mother. There was column 1 and column 2 and each column needed its own gender identification. Go NL!] Where were my parents born? When? What is my marital status? Divorced? Fine. When were you married? Where? To whom were you married? When was that person born? Where? When were you divorced? Where? Do you have children living with you? Do you have children not living with you? When were they born? Where?

And the clincher... Oh and by the way, we're going to need authenticated documentation for all of that. (I only have my own birth certificate.) *panic*

Being able to move on to the next step (registration of my business with the Chamber of Commerce) depends on being registered with the gemeente in order to get a BSN (Americans read, "SSN"). Getting health insurance depends on the BSN. Having a bank account depends on the BSN. Nothing else can happen until I have one.

Nonetheless, off we went to the gemeente to keep our appointment, where we met with a very nice young man who didn't speak English but didn't speak *too* fast, either, and only cringed when he learned that I had two former last names for a total of three names. He had no problem with the fact that I acquired a new name by the usage method after a divorce 20 years ago, he just didn't want the additional headache of having to check three names in the computers instead of one. :-|

He let us know that my birth certificate is no good to him; it has to have an apostille. The consequence of this fact is that my registration will say that my birthplace is Unknown until I submit a properly authenticated copy. He let us know that, since I do not have marriage and divorce certificates (CA doesn't even issue divorce certificates), I can't get married in NL unless I establish that I am, in fact, single. And he said that since I do not have a birth certificate for my son, my son cannot move to the NL under family unification should I later become a citizen unless I provide one.

And I'll receive my registration with my BSN number in one to two weeks. Have a good day.

Hold up.

So I have basically no documentation except for a passport. And you don't care. (To myself I said that, not to the nice man who could change his mind and be a pain in the neck if he wanted to, I'm sure.)

So... Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Glimpse of Amsterdam

It's just a glimpse, so don't think I'm about to tell you all there is to know about this ancient city.


I went to Amsterdam by train Saturday morning and came back by train after dinner Sunday. It's 2 hours by train. Travelers except tourists and commuters pay around €28 for the round trip, or less. (Commuters traveling during rush hour and tourists without access to one of the rail system's many discount programs pay nearly €50.) Trains are frequent, on-time, and full. (The Dutch complain endlessly about trains being late. In Dutch, the phrase for something being late is te laat, "too late." To them, 5 minutes off schedule for a 2-hour train trip is unacceptable.)


It's early December, but after Sinterklaas, so the Christmas season is upon the city of Amsterdam. While the Sinterklaas traditions are completely alien to Americans, Dutch Christmas looks a lot like American Christmas, without the year's worth of debt slavery attached, as the Dutch use very little credit.


At the end of the post, there's a map of Amsterdam with markers showing where each picture I'm including was taken, for those of you who would like to get oriented a bit. Note that this is only a map of the very very oldest, central heart of Amsterdam. It's a city that has been evolving since the 13th century from a fishing port to one of the most intriguing cities in the world. The part shown in the map image dates from the 16th century and before, although many of the structures were replaced in the 17th century, when Amsterdam experienced a golden age and underwent extensive changes.


4. Royal Palace of Amsterdam

This is a 100% Dutch picture to me. First, the Palace was not built as a Palace. It was the people of Amsterdam's conception of a City Hall befitting to the glory of their city in the 17th century. It remained the Stadhuis for nearly 200 years before Louis Napoleon Bonaparte (the other Napoleon's brother) became king of Holland and made it his own personal palace. The large plaza in front of the building had a canal through it, which Louis Napoleon's wife Josephine (yes they were both married to Josephines) complained stank. Louis Napoleon had it filled in, but in vain. Josephine hated Amsterdam and stayed in the city for only two months. Louis had to follow just two years later, in 1810, after ruling Holland for only four years.

By 1813, Willem Prince of Oranje was on his way to becoming King of Holland and gave the building back to the people of Amsterdam for government administration. After becoming King of Netherlands in 1815, Willem asked the city if he could establish himself in the building and the city consented. The Palace remains the official residence of the Dutch Royal Family. 

All interesting, but what makes the picture quintessentially Dutch to me is this juxtaposition of a publicly owned Palace; an efficient, modern tram;  a minimum of automobiles; a vibrant, healthy population on foot in the town center; and a clear, cold December day--with a Christmas tree. The Dutch take what they like from other cultures without reservation, cherish what they love most about their own, and heartily enjoy the resulting combination.

2. The Royal Palace at Night

Yes the white circles are bike tires. They're parked on the square.

1. De Bijenkorf. De Bijenkorf is to Amsterdam what Macy's Union Square is to San Francisco. It's located on the other side of the Dam from the Royal Palace. Here's the parking lot of De Bijenkorf at night:

The lights are glittering gold with white rings (snowflakes) that move down and eventually fill the gold area, then reset and fall again. 


10. Beurs van Berlage. Just a bit up Damrak from the Dam is the Beurs van Berlage.

This picture is taken from the back side of the building, on the Damstraat side, showing the XXX flag of Amsterdam. Beurs van Berlage was built as the central exchange for Amsterdam in 1611. It was the first fixed-location stock exchange in the world. Today it hosts public and private events, has a cafe and houses a bike shop. 


Moving from the Dam down Damstraat to the Oudezijds Voorburgwal, you reach one of the 1500 or so bridges over the canals. 


15. Varkenssluis (That's the name of this particular little bridge that carries Damstraat over the canal at Ouderzijds Voorburgwal.)

There is a massive number of bicycles in this city. They're chained to every possible tree, post, fence, and railing, and often just to each other. The bottom foot or so of the canals is reportedly lined with discarded bikes that have to be dredged out routinely. Tens of thousands of bikes are stolen annually in Amsterdam. Many end up in the canals. Bike theft is an annoyance in this culture; it's not a "real crime." Many of the thieves are not hardened criminals whisking your bike away for resale or to a chop shop, but another citizen whose own bike was stolen or got a flat. The bike I have is fancy. The vast majority of bikes in Amsterdam are of the most basic, cable-gear, no-frills variety. I did not take my bike with me to Amsterdam.


15. Seeds. This same intersection hosts the High Quality Seed Bank, which offers in the window:

No. I can't send you one.


14. Amsterdammers. Moving a little way up the Wal, we meet our first Amsterdammer:

XXX is the symbol of the city, as it has been since 1505. The three X's represent three St. Andrew's crosses. Andrew was a fisherman; Amsterdam was established as a fisherman's port. The other meaning of XXX is coincidental. :-) At any rate, this little pole is called an Amsterdammer. Its purpose is to block cars from parking or driving on sidewalks, while not inhibiting foot and bike traffic. 

Works quite well. There is almost no automobile traffic in Amsterdam anyway. Cars are free to drive on most streets, and there are cars, but the incredible lack of parking space makes a car fairly useless. Visitors to the city either park at the hotel, never to move the car again during their stay, or park in any of many lots on the outskirts of the city located close to tram, metro, and bus stops, and take public transit or walk into the city. Residents primarily walk and ride bikes. Amsterdam's massive traffic jams primarily occur in the outskirts of the city and the highways surrounding the city.


15. Ouderzijds Voorburgwal

This is a stretch of the same street a bit further up. These houses mostly date from the 17th century golden age of Amsterdam, when much of the heart of the city was built. A belt of four canals was built around the existing city, which extended only to the Singel at the time, and residential and commercial areas were constructed in a single, planned expansion of the city between 1613 and 1664. The economy began to contract at that time and construction proceeded much more slowly. The first section (the northwest sector and the main canals) was completely finished by 1625. Although this particular area lies within the original borders of Amsterdam, most of it was also rebuilt in the 17th century.


12. Bulldog no. 90. A little further up, we find the Bulldog Coffeeshop no. 90.

Number 90 is the coffee shop's address, and its claim to fame is that it's not only the first of the Bulldog chain of properties, but also apparently the first "coffee shop" in Amsterdam. This is actually the third Bulldog coffee shop that you find on the very same block between Damstraat and Oudekerk.


11. Oudekerk & Oudekerkplein

I don't think an American like myself can easily grasp the span of history that Amsterdam embodies, just as it's nearly impossible for a Dutch person to conceive of the space and distances that exist in the US. The US has space; Holland has time. Vast, unfathomable spans of time. [The place I live now has been inhabited for over 10,000 years, with stone monuments dating back around 6,000 years.] This church was first consecrated in 1306 as a Catholic church and became Calvinist when Willem de Zwijger (Willem the Silent, same Willem I mentioned earlier) defeated the Spanish and made Holland independent again.


In Holland, nothing is sacred. While Oude Kerk continues to be a church, it also hosts a restaurant and is available for rental for private functions. Behind the church, Oudekerkplein hosts prostitution windows, a lunch room, a coffee shop and two bars. 

This very helpful sign is also located on the plaza behind the church:

The time and date stamp is completely wrong. Ignore it. Please and thank you.


08. Nieuwemarkt. De Waag.

Nieuwemarkt  is the neighborhood. This building is called De Waag. But originally, when it was constructed in 1488, it was St. Anthony's Gate. One of the three original entrances to the walled city of Amsterdam, this gate sat over one of the three main canals that flowed into the city to control shipping and to keep the city secure. The canal still flows under the building, but it's no longer visible.


When the city wall was removed in 1601 (to be replaced by that system of concentric canals mentioned earlier), the Waag was the only original gate fortress that remained. Now inside the city, it was repurposed as a weighing house, from which it got its name. Louis Napoleon used the plaza for public executions. Today it hosts a restaurant called In De Waag. 


09. 't Mandje. Moving up Zeedijk back toward the top of Amsterdam, we find this little cafe:

 The red sign says "Do you know that 't Mandje is the oldest gay cafe in Amsterdam?" Check out their website (http://cafetmandje.nl/). Yes, person-who-you-know-who-you-are, you can come here!

7. Holiday Street Lights, just above 't Mandje over a small canal that crosses Zeedijk.

Each little neighborhood had their own decorations.

6. Back at the very top of Amsterdam, along the Nieuwebrugsteeg (it didn't get a red circle but it's between 5 & 7 on the map), I caught a picture of Damrak at night with the holiday lighting up.

See? There are cars! (They are, however, considerably outnumbered by the bicycles.)

7. Street decorations along Damrak.

These were full-on chandeliers hanging over this street, which intersects Damrak. Damrak itself, between Central Station and the Dam, is an unabashed tourist trap with McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, dozens of souvenir shops and the Sex Museum.

Not on Map. Albert de Cuypstraat Markt

You can get *everything* here. This isn't quite like a fleamarket. It's not particularly about bargains (which are there to be found, for sure). It's not about the unusual items or the vast assortment of goods available. This market has more to do with the Dutch notion of shopping. Winkelen is both the plural of the word for store and a verb that means going to the stores. Winkelen is a national, very social, relaxing hobby. I'll talk more about winkelen in the upcoming blog about what makes the city where I'm staying special.

Not on Map. Holiday Street Lighting.

This is to the south near the Jacob Obrechtstraat hotel where I stayed, 10 minutes by tram from Central Station. It's a little past the open-air market above.

So there you go. One weekend glimpse of Amsterdam. Barely scratched the surface.

Tot Ziens!

--Gayle

I think you can find this section of the map in this wonderful aerial photo of Amsterdam:

W00h000

So today we went to the IND (Immigratie en Naturalisatie Dienst). I *think* there's some confusion there.

If you come from a country that's not on the short list of Holland's friend-countries, and you intend to stay more than 3 months, you have to get an MVV before you come. It means you apply for and start the immigration process before leaving your home country and half the IND's work is already done when you land. In that case, you follow the prescribed channels and go (1) to the local government and register with GBA (Gemeentelijke Basisadministratie) and they give you a BSN (burgerservicenummer) and then if you're starting a business go to the KvK (Kamer van Koophandel) to register your business and then to IND to apply for your long-term residency permit (verblijfsvergunning, or pasje).

BUT. If you come from the US, then on the one hand the rules are way simplified, but on the other hand the system confuses itself. You can't start at GBA because you have no evidence of a right to stay here until after you've gone to IND. But when you go to IND, they'll tell you you should have gone to GBA. Here's a tip: Smile and nod. They'll say, "Oh well, we'll just put this sticker in your passport, and you can go to GBA next."

And that's what happened. It was an hour's drive through windy, wet weather with occasional sunshine peeking through the rain to get to the IND, and then a small hike through the same because of course there's no parking right next to the building (>.<) and I *may* have forgotten my letter with the appointment number on it. But no matter. We got there, safe and sound, and they took my papers (the application for a residency permit without MVV plus 18 pages of attachments), took €600, gave me a very pretty stamp in my passport complete with embossing, and waved bye.

The very pretty stamp not only has nice colors, it also says I get to stay for six months while they decide on my application for residency. Yayyy. Step one complete.

A week from today: The GBA to register as a resident of this town and hopefully to get my BSN.

Parties that aren't

A partij is not a party. Vecht is fight (the verb), but vechtpartij isn't a fight party, it's just a fight, as -partij is a word that turns certain verbs into events.

A feest is a party and een dag is a day, but a feestdag can be partyless. The government sets feestdagen on the calendar; party planning is up to the populace.

An actuele kwestie is not an actual question, but a timely topic. The actual question would be de werkelijke vraag.

An advokaat does not advocate, except in the legal sense of pushing forward a client's case. In other matters, advocacy is the domain of een voorstander, who may or may not stand at the front, although voor is a kind of front/before/forward-type word.

A character in a book is not a karakter, although the author is likely to familiarize the reader with the karakter of the personage.

While oplossing is solution, an eventueel oplossing is not a statement of the certainty of a solution arising in time, but a statement of a solution being possible. Eventueel has nothing to do with the passage of time.

Eekhoorn sounds like "acorn", but it means squirrel. Squirrels eat de eikel, which of course is acorn.

Ruimte is room as in space but not room as in a room. A room is een kamer of course.

The police at the politiebureau sit at a bureau to do their work, but it's not a tall thing with drawers and doesn't have a slanted top.

A bad is not bad but a pool of water in which one bathes, or swims if it's a zwembad. Slecht is bad, but it can also mean barely, only not in the naked sense.